Chance Encounters
by fatedfortunes
Summary: The adventures of an American abroad when she crosses paths with two of our favorite British YouTubers Straight Phan-fiction, Dan/OC, Phil/OC
1. Chapter 1

_It is plain that, if all causality in the world of sense were natural—and natural only—every event would be determined by another according to necessary laws, and that, consequently, phenomena, in so far as they determine the will, must necessitate every action as a natural effect from themselves; and thus... _

I could no longer even attempt to follow Kant's meandering logic and the words themselves were starting to blur together on the page. _Definitely time for a Starbuck's break_, I thought, leaning back in my chair and running my hand over my face. Fresh air and a chance to stretch my legs, plus a little caffeinated yumminess, would do me good.

I had been holed up in my favorite little corner of the philosophy collection up on the third floor of the main Manchester University library. It was my first term here as an MRes student studying, you guessed it, philosophy. Or "reading" philosophy as the Brits would have it. I am not British, however; I am very much American. So in addition to getting used to the insane amounts of reading and coursework I had to do, I was also trying not to get run down while crossing the street by cars driving down the wrong, ahem left, side of the road, mentally converting pounds to dollars, and picking up a new vocabulary of slang and Britishisms.

Don't get me wrong, though, I'm loving every minute of it. I'm a total anglophile and I've always wanted to live in the motherland, so I was beyond psyched when I was accepted into my post-doc program with enough scholarship money to make it actually possible for me to attend. And now I am happily ensconced in the country of Jane Austen, JS Mill, The Beatles, Doctor Who, the IT Crowd, and of course, most of my current YouTube obsessions. It was basically a dream come true - even the super intense classes, because I'm a total nerd like that.

I'd had enough Comparative 19th Century Ethics for the moment, however, so I decided to pack up my things and head down to the city center. It would be nice to get off campus for a bit, and to reward all my hard work with a delicious caramel macchiato.

* * *

After I'd given the barista my order and my name - it's Kate, by the way - I started scoping out a place to drop my book bag and hang out for a little bit. Just as I spied a vacant seat in the back corner, my order came up. Not wanting to lose out on my table in the crowdedcafe, I grabbed my drink and spun around quickly to head towards it, my gaze focused on my target across the room. I didn't get very far however, as I was met with something solid and t-shirt clad. My confusion and embarrassment were soon taken over by pain, however, as I felt steaming hot liquid dousing my chest and stomach. "Owwwww," I whined, stepping back to bend forwards, trying to my coffee soaked shirt away from my skin.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! I am such a fail. Are you okay?" I heard a male voice blurt out. "I'm fine, just a mess," I began to say, looking back up at owner of the offending beverage. That was as far as I got though, as my next words caught in my throat and my eyes probably doubled in size. Standing not twelve inches away from me, in that god-awful paisley t-shirt of his, was Dan mother-fucking Howell. _This is not happening!_ Somewhere beneath my inner squealing fangirl, however, was a desire to play it cool. I mean, it was bad enough that my one chance to meet danisnotonfire involved me with my hair in a library-hermit messy bun and some kind of sticky latte dripping down my front; I didn't reallywant to start gushing and freaking out on top of it. In my momentary panic, I somehow decided it would be a good idea to just pretend I didn't know him. I managed to recover quickly, and he was either distracted by pulling napkins from the dispenser or wrote it off to shock over the whole coffee incident, because he didn't react as I continued, "No, really, it was my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Yeah, but I was the one who dumped my drink straight on you. This kind of thing happens way too often to me. I'm literally a walking disaster."

"It's alright, I forgive you_,_ I'm just really wishing I had an extra top in here," I added, pointing to my bag stuffed full of textbooks and notebooks.

"Here, let me go get a cup of water, and we can at least de-sticky you," he said turning back towards the counter.

I think I was still in shock, watching him walk away, his boxers just visible above his low-slung skinny jeans. _Holy crap, I just met Dan. Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out. _

He came back, and we managed to do about as much damage control as could be done. "I'm Dan, by the way." I know! "Nice..." I started, "ish to meet you," I said, cocking my head. "I'm Kate."

"You know, I just live around the corner, if you want to get cleaned up properly. I'm sure I could even dig up a t-shirt for you to borrow."

Okay, so while I'd follow Dan just about anywhere, I figured most girls would just skip home with the first bloke to dump a coffee on them. "Um, so what does just around the corner mean? Give it to me in yards?" I replied, channeling my inner Julia Roberts. Since my life was apparently now a romantic comedy, I figured I might as well go all out.

"Not sure, really, um, a hundred and fifty? But, I swear I'm not some crazy stalker cannibal or anything. It'll be fine, I promise," he finished, looking at me expectantly.

"Alright then," I said throwing my hands up in mock surrender, "lead the way."


	2. Chapter 2

_This is all so fucking surreal._ I know we chatted on the way back to his apartment, about me being American and my program at MU, but I would be hard pressed to tell you anything I actually said. Hopefully I didn't make a total fool of myself. My mind was just going a mile a minute trying to process the fact that I was casually strolling along with one of my most beloved YouTube obsessions. I mean, I had secretly hoped I might eventually run into Dan and Phil in Manchester, but I never thought I'd literally run into one of them. And, okay, if I'd had to pick, it would be Phil striding along next to me, but damn if the kid wasn't even cuter in person. _This is definitely an experience to remember._

* * *

And then suddenly, we had somehow made it up 38 flights and were standing in front of his apartment door. Dan struggled for a moment to fish his keys out of his skinny jeans. "I think my roommate might be here, but he's a really nice guy," he said as he opened the door. Incredulously, that thought had yet to occur to me in my frenzied state. Then the door swung back to reveal Phil lounging on the sofa with a laptop resting on his legs. _Holy crap, he's really here!_

"Hey Phil, this is my new friend Kate. I spazzed out in Starbucks and dropped my drink on her, so I invited her back to change."

Phil looked up at me and smiled, making my stomach do a little flip. "Hi Kate. Oh, wow, it looks like you really got her good!"

"Hey Phil, nice to meet you," I answered, trying my best to act normal.

"Ooh, you're American. I love America! They've got the best sweets," he exclaimed, making me chuckle.

"Okay," Dan said, taking charge. "Let's grab you some clothes, and I'll show you where the bathroom is." I glanced back to exchange a small smile with Phil before following Dan down the hall.

It was kind of odd seeing the rooms of the apartment in real life instead of how I'd pieced them together in my head from the different camera angles, but it was all weirdly familiar. _Stalker alert. _

Dan continued to chatter as he moved into his bedroom and began digging through the wardrobe. "So you like your uni program? I was at Manchester for a while, studying law of all things, but then I kind of had a minor meltdown and dropped out. Okay, maybe a major meltdown. Absolutely the best decision I've ever made, though. I'm so much happier now. But it's cool that you seem to enjoy it so much."

"Yeah, I really do. What can I say, eccentric 19th century German dudes just do it for me," I laughed. "So what are you up to these days?" _LOL._

"Oh, I, uh, actually make video or YouTube, so I'm essentially a full-time internet hobo," he replied laughing. "I'm basically nocturnal and I probably don't leave this apartment as much as I should, but it's loads of fun. I'm a YouTube partner now, so I can actually make a living doing it. It's just such a great community and my fans are awesome. Oh, wow, that's sounds super conceited doesn't it? My fans...geez, Dan, ego much?"

"No, it's just really amazing that you can make a go of doing something that you obviously love so much. I'll have to look you up sometime." Clearly I should have been an actress.

"Yeah, Phil makes videos, too, which makes us perfect roommates. That and our similarly impeccable taste in tele, of course. He's actually the one who first got me into vlogging. Alright," he continued, holding out a black t-shirt, "This is at least clean. The bath's just down here, and there are towels in the cupboard."

"Thanks, I'll just be a minute."

* * *

Once safely behind the closed bathroom door, I immediately did a little silent fangirl scream slash dance of excitement. What is my life? Two hours ago I was alone in the library on a Friday afternoon, being my normal bookworm self, and now I was actually standing in Dan and Phil's apartment casually chatting with them. Definitely the stuff of dreams and movies, not real life...and yet, here I was.

In that case, better at least do some damage control to my appearance. I peeled off my still damp top, jamming it in the outside pocket of my backpack. My bra had a few splotches on it, but it would have to do. I was pretty sure Dan didn't have one of those to borrow...although that was only because t-shirt boobs don't require much support, I thought, smiling over the mental image.

Okay, new top, smarten up my make-up a bit. There wasn't much to be done with the hair, but I tucked in a few flyaways. I stared at my reflection for a moment, assessing: longish curly brown hair tied back, big green eyes still looking a tad bit in shock, long black t-shirt slightly too large on my 5"5' frame.

_It'll have to do. _I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and headed back into the living area.

"Hey! That looks good on you," Dan said as I entered the room.

"Thanks, I feel so much better in clean clothes. I'll make sure to wash it," I continued, not wanting to overstay my welcome, "And maybe I can drop it back off over the weekend?"

"Um, actually," Phil piped up, "We were thinking maybe you'd like to stay for dinner? I was going to throw together a stir-fry and it's not like we'd be doing anything tonight but playing video games if left to our own devices."

"Yeah," Dan added, "It'd be fun. You in?"

"Sure," I answered, probably with a goofy grin on my face. "That sounds massively better holing up in my tiny dorm room, wrestling with Kantian metaphysics. Thanks."

"No problem. You want to lend me hand in the kitchen?" Phil asked.

"Absolutely."

* * *

We all ended up in the kitchen, with me chopping veggies, Phil working on the chicken, and Dan doing not much to help the cause, aside from cracking us up with his ridiculous antics.

As we made quick work of dinner, I was surprised at how relaxed I became around them. They were just super nice guys, plus it kind of felt like hanging out with two old friends since they'd been gracing my computer screen for months.

I did have to stay on my toes a bit through dinner though to keep from revealing my rather extensive insider knowledge of their lives and personalities. I was starting to feel bad about lying to them, but it was kind of too late to come clean. What was I going to say, "J/K! I've actually watched pretty much every one of your videos and know all about you!" _Psycho stalker phan alert_. So I kept up the charade and tried not to say anything embarrassingly revealing as we chatted and joked around over dinner. My small sin of omission aside, it was honestly the most fun I'd had in a long while.

We were just clearing up the dishes when I heard a vibrating noise, and Phil grabbed his mobile off the counter. _Look at me being all English._ "Hey Anja, what's up?" he answered it.

"Oh nice, was it good?"

"Well then you should come round. It's been ages!"

"Yeah, that's great, Dan's got a mate here too."

"Yes, really. Alright, we'll see you then."

"Bye."

"Hey, I do have friends besides you!" Dan interjected in pretend outrage.

Phil ignored him, explaining, "So that was my friend Anja. She was in town seeing a movie with some friends, so I told her to bring Tom and Jane over," he added for Dan's benefit. "You should stay, Kate, and we'll all hang out. Maybe we could play a board game!" he said, getting adorably exited.

"Sounds good to me," I said smiling.

"I think the occasion calls for a bottle of wine," Dan announced. "You want a glass, Kate? No promises, but I'll try not to douse you with it," he joked with a wink. _Ovaries exploded._

"Yeah, that'd be great," I answered.

* * *

We were just about to pour a second round of drinks when we heard the buzzer ring, announcing the arrive of Anja and her friends. I stood back a bit and just took in the action as Phil excited greeted Anja with a hug, Dan shouted hello and started pulling out enough glasses for everyone.

After everyone exchanged greetings and put in their drink order, Phil turned back towards me. "Everybody, this is our American friend, Kate. Kate this is Anja, Tom and Jane," he said, pointing them out in turn. Anja and I grew up together, and these are her friends from uni. Dan dumped his latte on Kate earlier, so he brought her home to change and we haven't let her leave since." He pulled a face, "But not in a kidnapper-y way, it was only a couple hours ago."

"No really, they've super nice and totally made me feel at home. It's great to meet you all," I added.

After we said our hellos, and Dan came back with extra glasses and a wine bottle, we filtered into the living room, while the three newcomers filled us in on their day.

We were all having fun, swapping college/uni stories, chatting about favorite books and movies, and laughing. I had chilled out and was mostly just enjoying being part of a big group of close friends. I had made a few school friends since I'd come to Manchester, but I definitely missed my college gang. As I surveyed the room though, I was struck again by how crazy it was that instead of sitting in my dorm room staring at danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil on my laptop, I was standing in a room joking around with real live Dan and Phil. Mindboggling.

But as I watched Dan talking with Tom and Jane across the room, I realized Dan was acting way more awkward than he had at any point during the afternoon. He was all shifty and weird, shuffling around with his eyes cast downward. He seemed quieter than normal and his laugher sounded kind of forced. Then I noticed that his odd behavior was much more pronounced whenever Jane addressed him directly. _Oh my god, he totally likes her!_

During a lull in Phil and Anja's conversation, I leaned over and whispered to Phil, "So what's the deal with Dan and Jane? Is he always that dorky around girls that he likes?"

Phil just started laughing. "I know, right? I've tried calling him out on it, but he just clams up and won't talk to me about it. He must be really into her not to even joke around about it, it's not very like him," he concluded.

"Oh, sorry," he started to ramble, "that's probably not exactly what you wanted to hear, what with Dan inviting you back here and everything. Maybe I should have warned you earlier that he's not quite 100% available," he said, looking at me expectantly.

"What? Me and Dan? I mean he is totally awesome, but I don't think that would be a great fit. Trust me, I'm way more excited at the prospect of playing matchmaker with those two than romantically disappointed."

Phil looked a little surprised at my confession, but also, dare I think, slightly pleased?

Ok, this is the moment, it's now or never. "No, Dan's definitely not the one I've had my eye on," I said with what I hoped was a meaningful look, but which probably came out more like a nervous tic than flirtatious.

"Really?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yep," I said matter-of-factly, moving on before the moment got too intense or I got too awkward. "Ok, so how are we going to help young Daniel along in his quest to woo the fair lady Jane?"


	3. Chapter 3

After conferring briefly with Phil, I set off to do some reconnaissance. Grabbing a seat next to her on the sofa, I said, "Hey Jane, how's your night going?"

"Really well, we always have a good time when we hang out with Dan and Phil. And it's great to meet you as well."

We talked for a while about school and the comparative merits of psychology versus philosophy. Eventually, though, I went in for the kill. "Ok, let's get to the good stuff. Girl talk time. So do you have a boyfriend?"

"Sadly, no. I mean there have been a few guys in my courses and such, but nobody who's really held my interest, you know? And I'm pretty sure that the only guy that I've actually liked in a long while doesn't even like me as a friend, let alone like that," she lamented.

"No way," I protested. "I mean, I've only just met you, but you're pretty, smart, and have great taste in movies," I said with a smile. "I refuse to believe that."

"I'm not too sure about that, but thanks for saying it. You're a sweetie."

"Alright, let's see if we can get to the bottom of this. Can you tell me about Mr. Mystery Man or is that classified?"

"Just between us girls?"

"Absolutely, cross my heart."

"Okay, because I would be mortified if he ever found out, so you can't say a word," she emphasized sternly.

I nodded and she continued in a whisper, "Okay, so it's Dan. But you must have noticed how he acts around me. With everyone else he's joking around, making sarcastic remarks and teasing them, but he barely says three words to me. I don't know what I ever did to him, but nothing's going to happen there. But of course I haven't been able to stop liking him even though I can clearly see it's not returned."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that. I haven't known him for long, obviously, but he strikes me more as someone awkwardly smitten than who dislikes you."

Jane gave me a skeptical look. "I definitely would like that to be true, but I can't say I'm convinced. Anyway," she continued, changing her tone, "enough about me, what about your love life?"

"Oh boy," I answered, "pretty much the only men in my life right now are Arthur Schopenhauer, Immanuel Kant, and a bunch of other long-deceased, rather quirky intellectual types. I mean, I'd like a boyfriend, but school's just been so intense, and I haven't really made that many friends here yet."

"Well you've got me," Jane announced happily. "I know I'm not exactly boyfriend material, but you seem totally awesome and I could really use some more female friends. I love Anja, but she's moved away now and can't visit much. We definitely need to hang out again!"

"That sounds great. Remind me to give you my number before you leave, and we can make plans for next week!"

* * *

"Okay," I reported sotto voce as I sidled up next to Phil, "She's definitely in to him. Crushing pretty hard, actually, I think, but the problem is, she's convinced herself that he hates her because he gets so clammed up around her."

"Aw, such star-crossed lovers. But at least now that we know she's into him, I can fully support encouraging Dan to make a move."

"So what's our plan?" But just as I finished asking, we heard Dan loudly announce, "I'm hungry! Somebody feeeeeed me!"

Everybody laughed at Dan's outburst before Jane spoke up, "I could definitely go for some food."

"Pizza?" asked Anja hopefully.

"Yes please!" Dan chirped. "Having an excuse to order pizza is the best part of inviting friends over."

"Sounds like it's decided," Phil said. "I elect Dan and Jane to run out to pick it up. Angelo's is the best around, but it always takes them ages to deliver."

Instead of being his lazy self and complaining about the extra effort, Dan acquiesced to Phil's suggestion rather quickly. Oh yeah, he's so into her.

Jane looked hesitant at Phil's declaration, but then perked up a bit when she saw how easily Dan agreed to the outing with her. I caught her eye and shot her a quick I-told-you-so look across the room. She tried to look nonchalant, but I could tell she was at least a tad excited.

As the designated errand-runners grabbed coats, keys, and wallets, everybody piped up with their order requests. After the toppings were decided on and the door was shut behind them, I turned to congratulate Phil. "Well done, sir, very smooth. I'm impressed."

"That was a golden opportunity," he responded graciously, "I had to take it. Hopefully they just need a little time alone to talk and realize that they're clearly perfect for one another."

Anja came bounding up to us then, with Tom following behind. "What are you two up to over here? Don't think I don't see you whispering in the corner," she accused playfully, her eyes narrowing.

"Making plans for your future world domination?" suggested Tom.

"Nah, I've already got that planned out," joked Phil. "We were actually attempting to play matchmaker for Dan and Jane. Kate even picked up on it, and she's only know Dan for half a day."

_Almost true._ "I saw Dan acting all sketchy around her and then it just clicked in my head. Then Phil said he'd noticed it before, so I got the inside scoop from Jane. They both like each other, but think the other isn't interested."

"So clearly they need a little push in the right direction," concluded Phil.

"I can't believe she never said anything to me! I could totally see that though," remarked Anja. "They have very similar senses of humor and competitive drive when it comes to videos games. Even though Jane can be a little quiet when you first meet her, she definitely has a bit of a wild side too."

"I definitely think they could be good together. Let's hope their little outing is a success," added Tom.

* * *

"Who's ready for some cheesy deliciousness!?" hollered Dan as he pushed open the flat door, baring several familiar flat boxes.

As we all declared our excitement and gathered up plates, I eyed the two of them appraisingly. They certainly looked happy, but I couldn't be sure if anything had happened. I mean there was pizza involved.

We hadn't gone too crazy with the wine, but everyone had had enough to make late night pizza extra delicious and ensure we were all a little extra giggly and silly. Basically an excellent night.

I ended up sat next to Phil on the floor at the coffee table. _And Jane's next to Dan on the sofa, I see._ We were mostly involved in the group conversation, but every once in a while he'd turn to me with a little side comment, or lean into me playfully with his shoulder and those damn butterflies would take flight again. Honestly, how could any girl not swoon looking into those big blue eyes with that adorable lopsided smile? I'd never been so glad to have been spilled on in all my life.

After we had pretty much demolished the food, I saw my opening. Jane excused herself to use the loo, and I quietly slipped down the hallway behind her. "Hey," I called softly, touching her shoulder. She spun around and her face lit up immediately.

"Ah, I've been waiting to tell someone! Quick, in here," she said, motioning me into the bathroom.

After the door was closed behind us, I encouraged her, "Okay tell me all about what happened with you and Dan on your pizza trip. I've been dying of curiosity over here."

"It was pretty awkward at first, I mean, we were both pretty much silent the whole 38 floor elevator ride. Dan with his hands in his pockets, doing his little awkward times dance and me probably looking scared stiff. But then once we were outside and walking, I began to relax a bit. We chatted about how nice the night was and the party. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore though, and I asked him outright if he didn't like me," she flushed a bit in embarrassment at the memory.

"He looked a bit stunned for a moment before he started apologizing for acting to weird and explaining that he actually really liked me. 'Like really liked' me," she exclaimed happily.

"Oh my gosh, that's so great! I knew it!"

"Yeah, I couldn't even believe it was happening. But then we spent the rest of the time just talking about anything and everything. We have so much in common, and I mean, clearly the boy is gorgeous. He asked me out on a proper date this weekend," she confessed with a huge grin on her face.

"Aw, I'm so happy for you! It was about time you guys came clean," I smiled.

"Yeah, he just seems like a very private person when it comes to romantic things, so I think some time alone was exactly what we needed. Thank you by the way. Don't think I didn't see what you and Phil did there."

"My pleasure!"

* * *

We made our way back to the lounge to see everybody sprawled out, happily sated from the wine and pizza. It was nearing two, probably early evening to Dan and Phil, but way past my bedtime. The night had been like a fairy tale, but it was definitely high time for me to turn back into a pumpkin.

It had been decided that Anja, Tom and Jane would stay over since they had driven into town. In fact, Anja was already passed out on the loveseat, one arm flopped over her eyes to block out the light. When I announced my intention to head out, Dan offered, "I know we have a bit of a full house, but you're more than welcome to stay over. I'm sure we could put something together for you."

"You guys have been so nice already, but to be honest, I'm pretty excited about climbing into my own bed right now. Anyway, it's not a long walk, and it's well lit. I'll be fine," I assured them.

I was a bit sad to leave, but I figured I still had Dan's t-shirt so I was more or less guaranteed to see them again. Plus, I had plans to see Jane again soon.

On my way out, however, Phil caught up with me, pulling the door nearly shut behind him as he stepped out into the hall in to face me. "Hey Kate," he said with a shy smile. "So I was just wondering if you might like to hang out again? Just us, I mean. Maybe have dinner tomorrow night?"

_Um, is this real life?! Stay calm._ "Yeah, I'd really like that."

Visibly relieved, he continued, "Maybe I could stop by your halls tomorrow night and we can go to this really good Indian place I know nearby."

"That sounds great. Why don't you give me your phone, and I'll put in my number," I said, trying for a flirtatious tone.

As I was trying to control my shaking hands enough to type in the right numbers, he confessed, "I figured with all that talk about encouraging Dan to man up and pursue the girl, I should take my own advice."

Handing him back his iphone, I answered, "Well, I for one am very glad that you did," probably turning a bit pink in the process. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a smile, moving towards the elevator and pressing the call button.

"Till then," Phil said with a smile and a small wave. "Get home safely."

"Will do. Have a good night!" I called out softly as the doors closed him out from view.

Safely hidden away, I couldn't help but have another mini fangirl freak out, practically shaking with excitement and a touch of nerves for tomorrow evening. It was a little bit different this time though, as mixed in with the inevitable fangirl feels were definitely the butterflies of nascent real-life romantic attachment. _Holy crap, I actually have a date with Phil Lester! Can. Not. Wait._


	4. Chapter 4

The next day went by in a bit of a haze. I couldn't stop replaying the events of the day before in my mind. My whole crazy meeting with Dan, bonding with Phil in our quest to bring Dan and Jane together, the cute little flirty moments in our conversations, the occasions his leg touched mine while we were sitting on the sofa or when he touched my arm or shoulder to make a point or get my attention. _Okay, pump the breaks there, Kate. You haven't even had a first date yet, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. _But there were sparks there for sure, and I could tell I was in danger of falling hard.

There was a slight discomfort in the back of my mind, however, in not having come clean about practically stalking them before I had met Dan and Phil IRL. They had actually been a pretty big part of my life for the last year or so. I mean, as much as one-sided vlog-based relationship _can_ be, but I had been feeling pretty lost after finishing my undergrad degree and I kind of latched on to their videos once I discovered them.

I was working in a job I didn't like in a city I didn't like, away from most of my college friends, feeling pretty alone and directionless. Their videos made me laugh and cheered me up, no matter what else I had going on at the time. I mean who can look at look at Phil being all adorable with his big blue eyes in a pair of cat ears and not break out into a huge grin? Not to be too sappy, but they also kind of restored my faith in humanity, and in males in particular. I might not yet have found many myself, but here at least was proof that genuine, kind, intelligent guys existed in this world.

And in a stroke of irony, it was actually college-dropout Dan who inspired me to pursue my Master's degree. It had always been something that I wanted to do and even planned on, but when it came time, I got cold feet, convincing myself that I didn't have what it took to get my doctorate or excel as a professor, that it would be a waste of time and money that would never earn me a living wage.

And who knows, that might all be true, but when it was Dan talking about only having one life to live and finding something you love, for whatever reason all those clichéd sentiments finally hit home. I realized that there was one thing that I loved like that, it was academia, as lame as that may sound. _Nerd alert. _So I took the plunge, and even though I can't be sure how it will turn out, it's gone well so far and I am so much happier pursuing something that I enjoy and believe in doing.

Aside from the obvious ways, my YouTube crush on AmazingPhil was bit strange in that I think I definitely have more in common with Dan and he's closer to my usual "type," whatever that may be, but I've always had a soft spot for Phil, right from the start. I usually go for the more introspective, slightly darker, more sarcastic types (Lennon over McCartney, Spike over Angel, Snape over just about everybody, for example), but something in my somewhat high-strung and anxiety prone nature responded favorably to his more subdued energy. Even though he could act like a hyperactive six-year-old at times, Phil seemed to possess this innate calmness. He could instantly ground me and calm my nerves, even via video.

A buzz from my phone interrupted my introspection. Speak of the devil, it was from Phil.**Hi Kate! I hope you had as much fun as I did last night :) Still on for dinner tonight? I could pick you up at your room if you like. **

_Such a sweetie._ I quickly composed my response. **Last night was fabulous, so worth the coffee stains :) And that sounds great - I'm in 238 Fairfield, see you about 7?**

I flopped backwards to lie flat on my bed, arms out to the side and a big grin on my face. I was staring up at the ceiling, happily imagining little scenes for our date, when I felt my phone go off again. **7 it is, can't wait! **_Me neither, Phil, me neither._

Not wanting to obsess over my date all afternoon, but too keyed up to study, I decided to go for a run, knowing that it would clear my head. Despite being book-loving, internet-obsessed and happy to spend many consecutive hours sprawled across my bed with a cup of tea and the above items, I also loved running. Something about the time alone, just me and my music was rejuvenating. The steady rhythm of my feet hitting the ground seemed to order my thoughts and shake lose any worries or doubts, at least as long as my endorphin high lasted.

As expected, I was calmer when I returned, and now mostly just excited for the evening ahead. I took a nice long, hot shower, before returning to my yellow cube to finish getting ready. Not sure exactly where we'd be heading, I figured I should wear something that could go either casual or a little more dressy. I chose a favorite dress, a dark green v-neck, patterned with little abstract black owls, along with black tights, flat boots, and a cardigan. I left my hair down and naturally curly, scrunching a little gel into it to ward off frizziness. A little bit of make-up and a spritz of perfume and I was ready.

I was just tidying up the room a bit when I heard on knock. _Deep breath, open door. _"Hey Phil!" He looked really good in a blue button down that brought out his already gorgeous eyes even more and a pair of black skinny jeans, his dark fringe flopping adorably over one eyebrow.

"Hi Kate, how are you? You look really nice by the way."

I smiled and smoothed down my dress somewhat self-consciously as he continued, "Wow, being back here totally brings back memories."

"I bet, come on in. So did you like living in _halls_?"

"Yeah! It was kind of overwhelming and terrifying at first, but I made loads of cool friends and it forced me to be a little more outgoing. I was pretty happy to eventually move into a real apartment, but I'm so glad I did it."

"Same here. I thought dorm living was behind me after sophomore year of undergrad, but it is kind of nice to be back, surrounded by a bunch of other college kids from all over. I do miss having a proper kitchen, but I like my little room," I said gesturing to the 8x10 cinderblock square that was the whole of my living quarters.

"Well you're welcome to come use our kitchen whenever if you like," he offered. "Dan and I are very appreciative and non-picky eaters."

"I might have to take you up on that," I laughed.

"Oh my god, Buffy!" Phil exclaimed suddenly, spying the Buffy the Vampire Slayer box set on the corner of my desk.

"Oh yeah, I love Buffy. I've seen all the episodes, probably too many times. It's kind of a comfort thing," I explain. "It's what I put on whenever I'm feeling off or just want to wind down before bed." _Don't think I know what you're thinking. Of course I already knew of Phil's affinity for BtVS, but my own love for Buffy was also deep and abiding, long pre-dating my discovery of AmazingPhil._

"It's one of my absolute favorites, too," he gushed. "I was maybe a bit obsessed with Sarah Michelle Gellar in my teenage years, and I definitely went through a phase of watching the musical episode every single day."

"_Once More with Feeling _was so brilliant! And catchy," I laughed. "I've got a theory, that it's a demon," I began singing, "A dancing demon... no, something isn't right there."

Phil picked it up, gesturing broadly as he sang, "I've got a theory, some kid is dreamin' and we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare."

Joining in on the theatrics, I finished the verse with him: "I've got a theory we should work this out. It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?"

We held each other's gaze for a beat longer before collapsing onto the bed in a fit of giggles. "Wow," I said when I'd recovered a bit, "Clearly we were meant for Broadway." While our rendition was certainly enthusiastic, it was not quite entirely tuneful.

"That was fabulous. I knew I liked you for a reason."

I could feel my cheeks heat up a bit as I just smiled in response. There are those damn butterflies again. "Okay, so where is this fantastic place you're taking me for dinner?"


	5. Chapter 5

Once we had gathered ourselves enough after the musical interlude to make it out of my room, we headed around the corner from my dorm towards Piccadilly Station to catch a bus partway to the restaurant. The place was called Zaika, and Phil assured me it was the best Indian in Manchester.

During the bus ride, Phil pointed out different landmarks along the way, interspersed with little anecdotes as he was reminded of them. This being Phil, they mostly consisted of run-ins with various creepers.

"I was sitting at the bus stop, playing some game on my phone, when this man sat down right next to me. He stared at me for a minute and then said hello, and I was a little confused, but I said, 'Hi,' back, to be friendly, I guess. Then he got this really serious look on his face and said, "The fish, the fish flies at midnight. Don't you know?" Phil imitated the crazy man, widening his eyes and leaning in towards me, making me laugh.

"He kept on like that, saying all this weird stuff. 'The moose walks backwards in the moonlight. You have to see him.'"

"Wow, that's pretty intense. You're just too nice, I think," I diagnosed.

"Yeah, somehow I have a face that just makes crazies want to open up to me. It seriously happens all the time."

* * *

After walking a bit from the bus stop, down Whitworth Street, across the canal and over to Watson Street, we arrived at our destination. The restaurant was a modern looking glass-fronted building. I peeked through into the dimly lit interior, seeing cozy tables filled mostly with other couples and a few larger groups of friends.

Phil opened the door and ushered me through in front of him. "Why thank you, kind sir," I acknowledged with a smile.

The maître d' greeted us and we were quickly seated at a small table off to the side of the dining area.

We fell silent for a moment perusing our menus intently, feeling a bit of awkwardness from officially being on a proper date. I tried to brush the thought away, looking up at Phil shyly. He caught my gaze and immediately grinned. I couldn't help but smile back, and any unease I had been feeling melted away.

After comparing notes on the menu, the conversation turned to my childhood in America.

"So, what was growing up in Connecticut like?"

"Pretty quiet for the most part. Beautiful though. I grew up near a lake, so there was a lot of swimming and boating in the summers, bonfires at the water, some not-very-proficient water-skiing. Nothing too wild, really. I was kind of a goody two-shoes teenager really. I had a big group of good friends, did well in my classes, was a total band geek," I confessed.

"Really? What instrument did you play?"

"Clarinet, piano, and saxophone."

"Wow, that's pretty impressive."

"It would be if I were better at them, but trust me, it's really not. It was a lot of fun though. A bunch of my friends played too, and we got to go on trips and stuff."

"Yeah, Dan plays piano, but I never took up an instrument in school. I've always been a little jealous of people who can play," Phil admitted.

"Ok, so on the topic of music - favorite bands?" I asked, changing the subject from my high school geekiness.

"Muse, definitely. I got to see them live at Wemberly and it was like the best thing ever. Radiohead, My Chemical Romance, Green Day are up there as well. What about you?"

"I really like Muse as well, especially their more orchestral stuff. See previously established band geek tendencies. 'Exogenisis' is brilliant."

Considering the question, I explained, "I was pretty big into punk rock in high school, but my tastes have mellowed since them. I'd have to say current favorites are Arcade Fire, Edward Sharpe, Of Monsters & Men...probably a bunch I'm forgetting. I really like a bit of everything though. I'm definitely not above dancing around my room to some top 40," I admitted.

"Me too," Phil agreed, "I probably know more One Direction songs than a male of my age should be admitting to."

We continued chatting about bands and music, discovering our mutual fondness for Debussy, until our food came. Chicken Jalfrezi for Phil and Vegetable Korma for me, all of it smelling delicious.

"This looks amazing!" I said, realizing how hungry I actually was now that my nerves had calmed a bit.

"I told you I knew the best place. You should never doubt me."

"Mmmm," I said taking my first bite, "I promise never to again."

Eventually our conversation turned to the slightly more serious topic of school and life plans. I told him about my decision to go back to school (leaving out his flatmate's role in the resolution, obviously) to pursue teaching.

"It took me awhile to gain the confidence that I could actually be successful as an academic and a professor. It seems kind of silly since I love researching and teaching so much and I've always done well in school, but it was really scary. It still is really. It was probably good for me in the end, but it's been hard because I've really only had myself to rely on." I explained, "My parents are good people, don't get me wrong, but they've never been particularly supportive. I think they're still convinced that I'm going to fail out of school and end up living in their basement."

"That's mental," Phil objected. "You're here on scholarship and you're so smart. I think you'd make a wonderful professor," he assured me, reaching across the table to grasp my hand.

"Thank you," I said genuinely, giving his hand a small squeeze. "It shouldn't matter so much, but it really does help to hear someone say that."

"I guess I've been pretty lucky. My mum is really wonderful. I was a pretty weird kid, but she was always supportive of whatever crazy idea I got into my head. She's even been in a couple of my videos, and she's always such a good sport about it."

He continued, "I mean, I never expected for things to turn out the way they did, but I always loved videos and editing. It was still a lot of work, but everything just kind of fell into place for me. I studied film production at York, then got a job right away at a production company in Manchester. It wasn't anything too exciting, but I had time to work on my own stuff, and it was only a year or two before I was able to make a living with AmazingPhil. I still can't quite believe I get paid just to waffle about on the internet and make videos," he reflected.

_That's my opening. Now. No really, now. This is the time to just get it over with. So what if you're a fangirl?_

"I'll have to check them out sometime."

_Wrong answer._

I knew I was an idiot, but everything was just going so well. It was the best date I'd had in a very long time, hell probably ever, and I didn't want to ruin it. I knew that there was no way this was going to last - I mean, someone like Phil with someone like me? Not happening. But I just wanted to at least have this one perfect evening to look back on.

* * *

We stayed at the table, long after our plates had been cleared away, sipping our drinks and trading stories from growing up and being at university. Eventually though, we realized how late it had gotten and decided it was time to head out. Phil offered to escort me back to my building, and I accepted, not wanting the night to be over quite yet.

Instead of retracing our steps to the bus stop, we decided to walk the mile or so to campus, enjoying the beautiful autumn evening. The air was crisp but clear and the sky was starry, at least as much as it ever was in the city center. We held hands as we walked along, mostly in companionable silence, just enjoying the night air and the closeness of our bodies.

A chilly breeze caused me to wrap both my arms around Phil's one, turning my face from the cold and nuzzling into his side. As the wind died down, Phil took the opportunity to place his arm around my waist, hugging me against him as we walked.

Before I knew it, we were back in front of Fairfield, standing in the soft glow of the entryway lights.

"This is me," I announced, breaking the silence.

Phil turned to face me, still holding one of my hands in his. "This was a great night, Kate. I had so much fun."

"Me too, Phil. It was really wonderful."

"I'd love to see you again sometime," he said with slight question in his voice.

"I'd like that too."

Phil smiled at my response. He was looking down at me, his gaze locked with mine, and I could sense him contemplating kissing me.

And god, did I want him to. But I was also acutely nervous. I didn't have a ton of experience with guys, and practically none with boys I really liked. The tension built for a moment but then my awkwardness got the best of me. I covered the blush rising in my cheeks by turning the side of my face against Phil's chest as I wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Thanks so much for tonight. It was lovely," I said as I pulled back a bit to give him a kiss on the cheek. I moved towards the door, my desire to get inside without making a complete prat of myself outweighing my desire to be in Phil's company.

"Goodnight," Phil said, looking momentarily confused by my rather sudden departure.

"You too. Get home safe," I answered, smiling at him one last time before he started back down the walk and I closed the door.

On the other side, I leaned back against the door briefly, collecting myself. I had a twinge of regret at letting my awkwardness prevent the possibility of making out with Phil Lester, but mostly I just felt like I was floating on all the emotions of this amazing evening. Besides, all hope might not be lost on the kissing front..._He said he wants to see me again!_


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, after a leisurely lie-in, I opened my phone to see a text from Jane: **You hold out! Dan told me about your date with Phil, can't wait for details :) **

I smiled, thinking some girl talk was exactly what I needed right now. **Need to hang out soon and compare notes :) Free for coffee this afternoon? **

We agreed to meet at the Starbucks near campus. I snuggled into my bed, enjoying the warmth and reliving some choice moments from last night's date with Phil. _Still can't quite believe that happened..._

After a long moment, I pushed off the covers and headed for a shower with a smile on my face. Once I was clean, I threw on some black tights, boots and a dark green sweater. Some mascara and bit of hair gel in my curls, and I was ready to head out to see Jane.

I got there first, so I ordered my drink and nabbed a small table in the corner to wait for my new friend. It was a different location, but the familiar atmosphere made me think back to my fortuitous run-in with Dan. _How is this my life?!_

My recollections were quickly interrupted by Jane's arrival.

"Hey Kate, it's so good to see you!"

I stood up to greet her and gave her a quick hug, "You too! Can't wait to hear all about the big date."

"Ok, just let me get some caffeine in my system, then I'm all yours."

Once Jane had returned with her coffee, we proceeded to share the details from our respective encounters with Dan and Phil.

"Obviously, I've known him for a while, but it was so different spending time with him one-on-one. He was still funny and cheeky and a little bit crazy, but he could also have these quieter, almost serious moments. It was kind of weird, but also felt like I was getting to see a side of himself he doesn't usually show, you know? And he's actually a really good listener; we talked for hours after the movie without even realizing it."

She fell silent for a moment, looking a bit distant, caught in her memory of the night.

"Aw, I'm so happy for you guys. It seems like you really click."

"Yeah, once we both stopped being so blind and actually accepted the fact that we liked each other, we stopped being so ridiculously awkward and it just sort of felt like we'd know each other for ages.

"Speaking of that," she continued, "it seems like you and Phil were doing more than just match-making for me and Dan."

"I mean, I know I was flirting with him. Or trying to at least," I added wryly. "But I really was so focused on the two of you that I was completely surprised when Phil caught up with me on my way out. Thrilled obviously, but definitely shocked. He followed me into the hall and said he'd like to hang out again, just the two of us." I couldn't help but grin as I relayed the story.

"That's adorable!"

"I know, right? Then last night he came to pick me up at my dorm and we went for this delicious dinner and walked home under the stars. It seriously was every bit as wonderful as I could have hoped."

"Wow," laughed Jane, "we're in pretty deep aren't we? One date and we're like moon-eyed school girls."

"I know, and I'm really never usually like this. This is all pretty new to me."

"Me neither," Jane agreed. "But it is pretty fun, isn't it?" she said conspiratorially.

I agreed, as glad to finally have a girlfriend in England as I was to have met Dan and Phil.

* * *

Finally, I had to leave Jane to get back campus to prepare for my next day's classes. I finished up all my weekend reading that had gotten pushed till Sunday night, did a load of wash, and cooked some dinner, before turning in, exhausted but still feeling happy.

Mondays were my long day, with two lectures, a discussion section and study group. This particular Monday, however, was brightened by the intermittent text messages exchanged with one Phil Lester.

When he suggested I stop by after my last evening class for a movie night, I quickly agreed. Some mindless entertainment was exactly what I needed after thinking so hard and trying to "philosophical" all day. _The potential for cuddles with Phil certainly doesn't hurt either._

With that to look forward to, my last meeting flew by. I may have been the teenisest bit distracted, but I managed not to make a fool of myself in front of any of my insanely intellectual classmates, so I considered it a success. A quick trip back to my room to drop off my load of books (okay, and to check on my hair and touch up my makeup), I was headed over to the boys' apartment.

* * *

When I arrived, the door opened to reveal Dan.

"Hey Kate," he greeted me. "Phil's still getting dressed, so he instructed me to entertain you."

"Well, I suppose you'll have to do then," I said with mock disdain.

"Hey!" he interjected, pretending to be affronted before motioning me in towards the living room.

"Oh," I started, rummaging around in my bag. "This is for you," I said presenting him with his freshly laundered t-shirt. "Thanks so much for letting me borrow it."

"Anytime."

"So I heard about your date with Jane on Saturday," I said, changing the subject. I was excited to finally get Dan alone to find out his version of events.

"Wow, you don't waste any time do you?" Dan questioned teasingly. He settled into the black sofa facing me before he continued, "Yeah, we went to see Captain America and then grabbed some food. It actually went really well. We stayed at the cafe and talked for literally three hours afterward."

"Don't sound so surprised," I teased, "Jane's really awesome."

"I know that," he responded. "It's just that I'm pretty picky and I haven't really liked anyone for a long time."

"So you definitely like her, huh?"

"Yeah, I do," he admitted sheepishly. "To be honest, I've liked her for a while now, but I was just too much of a waffly twat to do anything about it before. I mean, she's gorgeous and funny, but she's also really into video games and Lord of the Rings. She's girly in all the right ways, but has like cool boy interests," he summed up, turning just the slightest bit pink in the cheeks.

_Clearly the boy is smitten. _

"You didn't hear this from me, but I have it on pretty good authority that she thinks you're pretty alright as well," I assured him.

I heard movement in the hall, and I looked up to see Phil entering the lounge, fussing with his hair as he looked up at me with a smile.

"Hey Kate, how was your day?"

"Not too bad. We had a really interesting discussion about differences between Betham and Mill's definitions of hedonism in the context of utilitarian theory..." I trailed off, "which is obviously only interesting to me," I laughed. "But it was a good day, just long. My mind is totally fried now. What about you guys?"

"Mostly just working on editing a collab video we filmed last week." Phil answered.

"Yeah, except this one," Dan interjected elbowing Phil, "kept getting distracted by his phone," he said with a pointed look.

"Hey, I'm not the one who locked himself in his room for forty-five minutes right in the middle of editing to take 'very important phone call,'" said Phil, turning it around.

"Ok, fair enough," Dan acquiesced, holding up his hands. "At least we we're nearly finished. It should go up tomorrow night."

_Famous last words. _

"Alright, so what movie do we want to watch?" I asked, getting away from the slightly sticky topic of YouTube.

"Hmm, what are you in the mood for?" Phil asked as he moved towards their DVD shelf to examine the options.

Dan and I followed. "Something happy," I requested.

"We could watch Monster's Inc.," Dan suggested.

"Oh yeah," Phil said excitedly. "Have you seen it?"

"Of course! Good choice!"

"Ok, I'll set it up," said Dan. "You two are in charge of drinks and snacks."

Once we'd made it into the kitchen, Phil took advantage of the relative privacy. "I'm glad we're getting a chance to hang out again. I've been thinking about you ever since dinner the other night," he said softly.

"Oh yeah?" I teased, moving closer to him to rest a hand on his chest as I looked up into his eyes. "I've been thinking about that night too. About how much fun we had and how much I wanted to see you again, but mostly wishing that I had done this..." I trailed off as I shifted to my tip-toes to claim the kiss that I had shied away from during our last encounter.

Phil leaned in to meet me halfway, and our eyes drifted closed as our lips met for the first time. The kiss was soft and sweet and slightly minty, my body going tingly all over as Phil ran his hands up my arms to rest on either side of my jaw.

We pulled away slightly, staring into each other's eyes, not wanting to break the moment quite yet.

"Oi! Where's the food?"

Dan, it would appear, had other ideas.

We grinned sheepishly at one another, feeling slightly caught-out even though Dan was still safely in the lounge.

"Coming!" shouted Phil, and I could hear faint snickering coming from the living room. That's what she said.

We quickly got to pouring a few glasses and coke and grabbed a bag of crisps before heading back.

Dan was already settled into the loveseat, lights out with the DVD queued up and remote in hand. After doling out food and drink, Phil and I sat side by side on the sofa.

"Alright, are we ready?" Dan asked.

"Yep!" I agreed happily.

Dan hit play and the opening credits rolled. With him suitably distracted by the film, Phil slipped his hand in mine and tugged me closer. I tucked my legs underneath me and cuddled up to his side, my head on his shoulder and our entwined fingers on my lap.

I relaxed against him and felt all of the stress of my classes melt away. Thankfully we'd chosen a simple movie that I'd seen before, because I didn't think my brain was up to much more than enjoying the supreme contentedness of lying curled up against Phil.

_Oh yes, definitely a good end to my day._

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Life stuff plus a crisis of confidence about this story, but I won't bore you with the details. Hoping to have more regular updates going forward.

A few notes:

This is set during Manchester days, so something like Oct/Nov 2011. I've been amusing myself doing some background research for this, so any mentions of streets/restaurants/uni buildings/etc. are all as accurate as I could make them.

Dan's line "She's girly in all the right ways, but has like cool boy interests" is taken directly from Amazing Cat Is Not On Fire. And the collab video they're working on is Phil Is Not On Fire 3.

Hope you enjoyed! R&R much appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

I awoke to the sound of metal clinking on ceramic, somebody making tea presumably. God those dorm walls were thin.

Except, something wasn't quite right.

I cracked an eyelid open to take in my surrounds. Black leather sofa, unfamiliar striped duvet, large television in the corner. Ah, yes.

I remembered getting about half way through the movie last night, thinking about how good Phil smelled and replaying our brief kiss more than watching the antics of Sully and Mike. Then everything went blank. Clearly I had fallen asleep during the film and Dan and Phil had graciously let me stay over rather than waking me.

The moment I came properly awake, however, a pang of panic shot through me._ Shit, what time is it!? Oh my god, I'm going to be late to my tutor. He is so going to kill me!_

I shimmied out of the blanket I'd cocooned myself in and swung my legs onto the cold floor. I pushed my sleep-tousled hair out of my eyes, scanning the room for my bag. Need phone now.

My frenzied rustlings must have been audible in the kitchen as Phil appeared in the doorway, mug in hand.

"Oh my gosh, what time is it?" I blurted out.

"Good morning to you too. Don't worry it's still early, only half seven. I was just about to wake you actually. I wasn't sure what time you needed to be to uni and I didn't want you to be late..." he trailed off.

Could he be any more adorable?

"Oh, and this was for you," he said remembering the cup in his hand and holding it out towards me."

Apparently, yes.

"Oh thank god," I said, relieved. "Sorry I freaked out, I just have an important meeting with my tutor this morning. It's not till nine though, so I'm good."

I paused to move towards him. "What I meant to say was 'good morning, handsome'." I reached up to place a quick kiss on the cheek as I accepted the cuppa. "Thanks," I smiled. "For the tea and for letting me stay over."

"No problem," he responded as we moved to take a seat amongst the blankets and pillows on the sofa. "You looked so peaceful sleeping, we couldn't bear to send you back out into the cold night. Did you sleep well?"

"Like a rock. I was so confused when I woke up not in my little cement brick cube. But a very nice surprise to see you. I could get used to this service," I said holding up my mug.

"Do you want some breakfast? I think there's still some cereal I haven't managed to eat. Or toast. Toast is always good," Phil offered.

"Mmm, I'd love to, but I really need to get back to my dorm to get changed and grab my books before my meeting. I might even have time for a shower, if I hurry," I mused, silently hoping I didn't look too much like a train wreck.

"Alright, I supposed I'll have to let you go then. But at least let me walk you downstairs."

"You got it."

* * *

Later, after the rush of swinging by the dorm and making it through my thesis consultation, I was sat in lecture, half paying attention as I finally allowed my mind to be tugged back to the contemplation of certain dark-haired, blue-eyed someone.

It was so nice see Phil first thing in the morning that I couldn't help but think how nice it would be to actually wake up next to him. Although it was way too early to be thinking things like that. I mean, we'd barely even had a proper kiss, however stomach-flippingly lovely it had been.

Speak of the devil. I surreptitiously slid my phone from my jeans pocket after its small vibration to see a new text from Phil: **It was nice to get to see you last night, Kate. And this morning ;)**. Quickly followed by: **Hm, didn't mean for that to sound quite so suggestive ^_^ Also, hope your meeting went well!**

So innocent, so adorable.

**Haha, no worries. It was a lovely start to my day. Meeting was good, even the pile of edits I have hasn't been able to ruin my good mood :)**

I turned my eyes back to the lecturer at the podium and tried to keep the smile off my face as I made a half-hearted attempt to get some notes down and avoid getting busted for texting. When I felt the telltale buzz on my lap, I forced myself to wait a few minutes until Dr. Ryerson was busy shuffling through his notes to look.

**Good to hear! Dan mentioned that you and Jane were getting on well, so I thought maybe the four of us could hang out? Maybe pizza Thursday night?**

I quickly typed back: **Three of my favorite people, plus pizza? I'm so in :D**

* * *

The next few days passed quickly, with reading, writing, and group projects not allowing for more than a few text conversations with 'the boy'. By the time Thursday evening came around, I was beyond ready for some social interaction.

Obviously I was excited to see Phil. And touch him. And look into his beautiful blue eyes.

God, I gag even myself.

But I was also really looking forward to spending more time with Dan and Jane. I (creepily) felt like I'd already known the boys for a while, but of course there was also loads more to learn. While Phil was easier to separate from his internet persona - perhaps because it was more of a persona, as well as that I'd had more opportunity to get to know him - but it was interesting to see the subtler differences between Dan and danisnotonfire. Plus, I hadn't really seen he and Jane together yet, and I was keen to see the fruits of my and Phil's matchmaking endeavor.

We'd agreed to meet at an Italian restaurant downtown called San Carlo. It was a bit swank, so I found myself standing in front of my closet trying to find something nice, but not too nice. A glance at the clock hurried the process considerably, and I shimmied into some black skinny jeans with a cobalt sleeveless blouse.

Necklace, earrings, run a brush through my hair again, one last swipe of lipstick. Ok, shoes, bag and I'm out the door.

And back in to grab my phone off the charger.

But then I was finally locking up behind me off to meet up with my (youtube idols) new friends.

**A/N **Sorry it's been so long and that this is so short. I've actually got a bunch of later stuff written, but the bits in the middle have been giving me some trouble. Hopefully, I'll have something more substantial up soon! Also, the "youtube idols" thing in the last sentence was meant to be striked-through, but apparently you can't do that on ?


	8. Chapter 8

Ok, so I'm going to be straight with you here. I've never been in love. You'd think by 24 it would have happened, but nope. Not even the slightly silly, obsessive, lust-filled love of a high school relationship.

I've dated a few guys, but no one who was ever able to infiltrate my rather substantial emotional fortifications.

I don't know why I am the way I am, but I realize I tend to be very closed off. I don't mean to be, it's just the way I've always been.

I joke about my "black heart." I hardly ever cry - never at movies, rarely even at funerals. I don't seem to need or miss people as intensely as others do. And I _don't_ fall in love.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete psychopath. I do have emotions, they're just buried down pretty deep. Which is why I've been totally freaking out about my feelings for Phil.

This is all totally new to me, and to be quite honest, scary as fuck.

I like feeling in control and having the upper hand, but now here is this other person, whom I've barely known for a couple weeks, who holds the power to completely crush me if things don't work out. Like I said, scary.

And it's not that I think Phil would ever do anything to intentionally hurt me like that. But I'm also a realist. People change, things fall apart. You can't force feelings that aren't there.

That's why I've always kind of preferred being the less invested person. It's a position of power. But now I was a little freaked, because there was no way that Phil was further head of heels for me that I was for him. And that's a totally new experience for me.

Still, despite those nagging insecurities in the back of my head, I couldn't deny that I was extremely excited to see Phil again.

During my mini mental freak out, my feet seemed to have carried me to my destination. Once I entered the restaurant, I quickly spied Phil and Jane at a booth towards the back. They waved as I made my way through the crowded restaurant.

At my arrival, Phil stood up, his eyes sparkling as a grin spread over his face. My stomach did a little flip as he reached out to grab my hands to pull me in for a hello kiss.

After a pause just a touch too long, I remembered that there was somebody else at the table.

"Hey Jane! How are you?" I said excitedly, slipping into the rounded booth to sit between her and Phil and leaning in to give her a quick hug.

After pleasantries had been exchanged and I was informed that Dan was on his way, just running late as usual, Phil suggested that we order a bottle of wine for the interim. Obviously, I agreed.

Beyond thinking a glass might calm my nerves a bit, I rather enjoyed tipsy Phil. He was extra affectionate and somehow even more adorable than usual.

Jane was just in the middle of a few anecdotes about Dan's previous horrific awkwardness around her (including one time when he pretended not to notice her sat ahead of him on a bus for 14 stops) when the man himself came flouncing in, looking slightly out of breath and flustered.

"Oh my god," he started, bending down to give Jane a kiss on the cheek before he lifted the strap of his shoulder bag over his head. "Sorry I'm late, but seriously, I think I'm lucky to be alive," he continued dramatically.

"I somehow got on the wrong bus and I ended up way in the wrong part of town. I nearly got stabbed by a gang of chavs whilst I was changing lines."

"Seriously? What happened?" asked Phil sounding concerned.

"Alright, well maybe not _nearly_," Dan admitted, "but they were definitely the type to have kitchen knives shoved in their jackets."

"Well, I'm glad you're here now. Here, it sounds like you need it," Jane said, offering him a wine glass.

* * *

Two pizzas, two bottles of wine and much laughter later, we were still cozied up in our booth, chatting contentedly. We weren't raucously drunk, but wine had definitely relaxed us and I suspected that I was going to feel it once I stood up. For the moment, however, I was happy to be sitting close to Phil, our entwined hands on his lap, smiling as I listened to him and Dan tell stories from a meet-up they had gone to in London.

Jane was similarly positioned, her arm linked with Dan's and her head resting on his shoulder. The look in Dan's eyes when he glanced down at her was absolutely the most precious thing ever, and I was so happy for them.

To be honest, I was pretty happy for me too. I was finally building an awesome group of friends who felt like I'd known them for ages, I had a wonderful an almost-maybe boyfriend (who I'd been crushing on for years – how did _that_ happen?), and even my coursework was going well. It was all a bit surreal, really. I mean, if I you'd asked me to write a story about my dream life six months ago, this was pretty much how I'd want it to go.

* * *

Dan and Jane had decided to go out for ice cream after dinner, but Phil and I had headed back to the flat, wanting to give them some alone time. And to get some for ourselves, of course.

Phil was fussing in the kitchen pouring us drinks as I sat atop the breakfast bar, feeling rather tipsy and swinging my legs idly as we chatted.

"...Not everybody's got siblings who date Swedish pop stars, yo-." My teasing tone turned choked as I realized what I'd accidently said.

_Oh shit._

Phil turned around to look up at me with a surprised expression.

"I don't think I ever told you that," Phil said slowly, realization dawning.

If I were quicker on my feet, I suppose I could have come up with some bullshit about Dan telling me, but after weeks of putting it off, the truth was out now. It was time to face it. _Fuck, he's going to hate me_.

"Phil-" I started, desperately attempting to launch into an apology, an explanation, something, but he cut me off.

"What are you, some kind of stalker? This is so not okay. I let you into my house, into my life. I told you about my family. What is this!? Some kind of...psychotic ploy to reveal all of our personal details to the internet? That is way out of line. What did you do, stalk Dan until you cornered him at Starbucks and then knocked into him. God, what a cliché. He should have realized. _I _should have."

He was getting more worked up as he went on, remember all the details he shared as his imagination supplied all kinds of the most horrible explanations. I slid off the counter to move closer to him, hoping to calm him in some way, but my heart sank as he backed away from me.

"No, it's not like that I swear. I mean, I did know who you are, but-" I fumbled.

"So you admit it!" Phil cut in. "I can't believe you lied to us like that. And for weeks! I don't even think I know who you are."

"No, Phil, please," I tried again, "Just let me-"

"No, _Kate_," Phil spit back at me. "Seriously, just get out. You need to leave here."

I had never seen Phil so mad. I never could have even imagined it before this moment, and I still couldn't quite believe it..

I felt hot, fat tears rolling down my cheeks as I realized it was all going to end right here, over my stupid pride and my idiotic lie.

"I can't deal with you right now. I don't even know what to believe, but I don't want you in my house," Phil continued. He was calmer now, but his icy tone was just as cutting as the yelling had been.

I didn't even try to say anything else, the sob building up in my throat threatening to escape if I opened my mouth. Not that I even knew what words could fix this. Or if it _could_ be fixed.

So I grabbed my bag and jacket off the sofa, heading quietly for the door.

I glanced back to see Phil's body taut with repressed anger, his face turned away as if he couldn't even bear to look at me.

I held myself together long enough to make my way out of the apartment building, but as soon as I reached the street, I lost it. I sank down on the curb, burying my face in my arms as the tears came faster and my breath hitched in my throat.

I'm sure there were passersby cautiously skirting my crumpled form, looking at me like I was crazy, but I was beyond caring in that moment. I'm not even sure how long I sat there, crying into my hands and thinking of the things I wished I'd done differently.

Eventually I pulled myself together enough to realize that I really should head back to my dorm. I pulled a packet of tissues out of my bag, blowing my nose in a not terribly dainty manner and wiping the last of the tear tracks from my cheeks with the palms of my hands. When I looked up to tie my hair back away from my face, I caught sight of a familiar form in a black jumper heading straight for me.

My shoulders slumped as I momentarily contemplated making a sprint for it. I really didn't think I could handle being shouted at again, even if I probably deserved it.

As Dan neared, I gave him a weak smile as tears began to prick my eyes again.

Thankfully, he didn't look enraged, but he was still a forceful reminder of Phil and the miserable state of affairs between us. I blinked hard, trying to shut that out of my mind for the moment.

"So, I heard what happened," Dan greeted me cautiously. "You know a lot more about us than you let on, huh?"

"Yes," I admitted. "And I am so, so sorry about that. I just panicked, and I honestly never thought I'd see you again. But then I did and you were both so wonderful, and there never seemed to be a good time, and it all just got so out of hand," I apologized in a rush.

Dan held up his hands to slow the onslaught of my rambling.

"Wait, you're not one of those crazy Phan shippers convinced I'm secretly bumming my best friend, are you?" Dan asked, suddenly horror stricken.

"God no," I reassured him. "I just really loved watching your videos. I might have idolized you a bit, but even before I met you, I realized that you were real people with your own lives beyond your YouTube videos. I'm not some crazy stalker, I swear. Which is what I was trying to prove by not fangirling when I first ran into you, except _that _failed miserably" I deplored.

"And now this looks a million times worse than if I'd just started squealing when I first recognized you. But it's really not, I swear. And now that I _do_ know you, for real, I really don't want to ruin our friendships over this. These have been the best few weeks of my life."

I finished my disjointed speech and looked expectantly at Dan, trying to gauge his reaction.

"It's okay Kate, calm down," Dan said slowly. "I believe that you never meant any harm by it. We've been hanging out long enough that I think we'd've noticed by now if you were sneaking pictures of us in the shower or selling our pants on ebay or something," he joked.

I couldn't help but crack a smile at the idea, massively relieved that Dan, at least, was willing to forgive me.

"I just think Phil is feeling kind of betrayed, seeing as there is a little more at stake than mere _friendship,_" Dan continued, giving me a meaningful look. "He'll realize you're not some crazy fan on a secret reconnaissance mission as soon as he calms down a bit, but his trust in you is going to take some more work to repair."

"I know and I feel so guilty. I should have just been up front from the start. I let my stupid pride get in the way, and now the only guy that I've ever really liked thinks I'm a liar," I lamented, feeling my emotions well up in my chest once again.

"It's gonna be okay. You can fix this," Dan comforted me. "Give him a little time to cool down, then just talk to him. Explain what happened and reassure him that everything else was real. You're a good person Kate, and you and Phil are good together. He'll come around."

"Thank you so much, Dan. For not being mad, for listening to me moan, and...and just everything, really," I said looking up at him. "You're not too bad yourself," I finished sniffily, smiling again.

As he hugged me, I started to feel like maybe I could actually fix this mess and like Phil might not be lost to me forever.

**A/N **I know this chapter got a bit dodgy in the middle, but I've spent ages and haven't been able to come up with anything better, so I decided it was better this than nothing. The conflict of Kate's lie about recognizing Dan coming back to haunt her was my original inspiration for this story, so hopefully it doesn't seem too forced. Also, I couldn't come up with a great way for her to out her secret, so just pretend it makes sense - the truth coming out and its repercussions are more important than the howanyway. (I think. I hope?) I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	9. Chapter 9

After our little heart-to-heart, Dan had walked me down to the bus stop and I made my way back to the halls. I collapsed on by bed, feeling shattered and exhausted from crying, not to mention the wine and my day before everything had blown up in my face. I kicked my shoes off and curled up, falling asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, I woke up with puffy eyes and creases pressed into my skin from sleeping in my clothes. I groaned as yesterday's memories replayed in my mind. My gut twisted as I remembered how upset Phil had been. I could still see him so clearly as he turned away from me, his body unnaturally taut with repressed anger.

My breath hitched as I thought about it, but I decided that it was time to stop wallowing over my stupidity and start trying to fix things. I'd had my cry and I'd given Phil some time to cool down and sober up. Now, it was time to try to make things right. Even if Phil didn't want to date me anymore, I just couldn't stand the thought of him hating me.

I wasn't sure exactly what my plan was going to be, but I knew I had to try to talk to him. He probably wouldn't appreciate me showing up at - I glanced to my left, _oh yes, 7:38 in the morning_ - bleary-eyed and scraggly-haired, so I figured a shower was in order.

After I had bathed, dressed, and sorted out my hair and a bit of make-up, I made my way into town in search of coffee. _Maybe some caffeine could jolt my brain into coming up with something magical to say to earn back Phil's trust._

* * *

On my walk, I felt my phone start to vibrate in my back pocket. My stomach jumped a bit thinking it might be Phil. Upon fishing it out, however, the caller id revealed it to be Jane. She had been with Dan last night, so chances are she probably already knew what had happened between Phil and I.

"Hi Jane."

"Omigosh, Kate. Are you okay? What happened? Dan and I were at the ice cream place when Phil called last night. He seemed so upset. I was going to call last night, but then Dan said that he'd seen you and that you should probably just get some rest. How are you doing?" Jane spluttered out at the other end of the line.

"Oh, Jane, I'm just such an idiot. I lied to Dan and Phil, and I guess I wasn't really honest with you either. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to. It was just one little omission. Or I guess, kind of a huge one really, but then it just all got so out of hand, and instead of dealing with it, I just kind of ignored it. And then it all blew up spectacularly in my face," I babbled.

"It's okay, Jane. You don't need to apologize to me. And Dan's already forgiven you. I'm sure Phil will come around as well."

"I hope so. I'm going over to talk to him this morning. Wish me luck?"

"Absolutely. It'll be fine, I just know it."

"Thanks, I think I needed to hear that. I'll let you know how it goes."

"You'd better. Bye, love."

"Bye."

I did feel a bit better having talked to Jane. Knowing that she and Dan didn't totally hate me made me think that I might have chance to make things right with Phil.

I ducked into Starbucks, though mercifully a different location than the one where this whole mess had begun, to grab a drink and try to order my thoughts and steel my nerves while I waited for a slightly more humane hour of the morning.

* * *

_Alright, this is it. _I took a deep breath and raised my hand to knock on the door to Phil and Dan's flat.

Bracing myself for Phil's reaction, I was half disappointed and half relieved to see Dan on the other side of the doorframe.

"Hey," I ventured, still not entirely sure of my welcome.

"Hi Kate, come in," Dan said, stepping back out of the way.

"Thank you, Dan. For talking me down last night and for being so understanding about all of this. You have to believe I never meant you guys any harm."

Even if I thought that we had parted on pretty good terms last night, I still felt horribly guilty.

"It's okay Kate. I'm not saying I love it, but I get how it happened. Although something tells me I'm not the one you're here to apologize to."

"Is he still mad?"

"I'm not exactly sure. He's been locked in his room all morning. He did come out to get some tea, but he didn't want to talk to me."

"Oh." _Not the best news then._ "Do you think I could try to talk to him."  
"Yeah, I think you might have better luck. Phil," he hollered, "can you come out here for a sec?"

Hearing Phil's groan in response, he tried again. "No, seriously. Please?"

We heard his door click open and Dan gave me what I think was meant to be an encouraging look.

Phil padded down the hallway into the lounge, still in his pjs and glasses, hair looking tousled from sleep.

"What?" he muttered, entering the room. Then he looked past Dan and noticed me. "Kate? What are you doing here?"

Thankfully, he sounded more surprised than angry, but my voice still caught in my throat.

"Um, I'm just going to pop down to the shop to grab some milk," Dan cut in, fooling no one.

Phil and I just sort of awkwardly stared past one another as Dan grabbed his keys and slipped out of the apartment.

As soon as the door shut behind him, words began spilling out of my mouth. "I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I guess I just panicked when I met Dan, and I know that's no excuse for letting it go on as long as I did, but I swear it was just me being an idiot, not some elaborate plan to stalk you guys."

I looked up to gauge his reaction. Phil just nodded before saying quietly, "I'm not angry with you anymore, but that's still kind of a huge thing to keep from me. I thought we were getting to know each other, but it turns out you already know all this stuff about me. I was a little creeped out to be honest."

"I get that, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that I lied to you. But we _were_ getting to know each other. Sure I might have already known your birthday and a bunch of silly facts about you, which now that I'm saying it does sound extremely stalkerish," _okay, back on track_, "but that's not the same as knowing _you_."

"I guess I was just shocked and a little bit drunk and all I could think of were these terrible scenarios of you cozying up to us just to spill all our secrets on the internet-"

He held up a hand to stem the protestations on the tip of my tongue.

"Which I know you would never do. Once I'd calmed down a bit last night, Dan made me realize that. I'm sorry I accused you of all those horrible things. Actually, I wanted to call you this morning, but I was afraid that after I'd screamed at you like that you wouldn't even want to see me again."

"No, seriously you had every reason to be upset." I couldn't believe he was the one apologizing right now. "That was a huge thing to keep from you, and I know I'm probably not the most trustworthy person right now, but I swear to you, everything else I said to you, my feelings, that was all real. I understand if you don't want to date me after this, or even be friends, but I just can't stand the thought of you thinking badly of me."

"I don't, Kate. I know you're a good person. And I do want to keep getting to know each other. Maybe we can just start fresh? Just go back to square one, with everything out on the table, and try this again?"

"I'd really, really like that. No more lies, I promise."

"Alright then. Hi, my name is Phil."

"Like AmazingPhil? Oh my gosh, I love your work."

Phil chucked at that and smiled, pulling me in for a hug. It felt to good to have his arms wrapped around me and know that he was willing to give me a second chance, but the sound of a key in the lock made us pull apart.

"Hey, uh, you two love birds make up yet?" Dan asked, sounding unsure of what exactly he was walking into.

Phil moved his hand over to wrap it around mine, giving me the confidence to say, "Um yeah. We're going to take it slow for a while, but I think we're good?"

I look up at Phil. He met my gaze with a small smile before confirming to Dan, "Yeah, we're good."

"Oh thank god. I was terrified I was going to come home to one or both of you crying, and I am just not equipped to handle that."

_Good old Dan, always there to lighten the mood_.

**A/N** - I apologize for the hideously long wait. This story was literally the first piece of creative writing I ever attempted, so I'm sorry if it's a little light on actual plot. I've struggled a little bit with where to take this story, but I think we're in the home stretch - only one or two more chapters to go. Thanks so much for reading 3

I feel I should also mention I've been working on a few other stories in the meantime, so if by chance you're also into phan, you should check them out :)


	10. Chapter 10

It was just a quiet Wednesday night. I was sprawled out on the sofa, books and pages of notes spread out around me, Phil was in the corner editing his latest video at the table, and Dan was hunched over on the beanbag playing Sonic with the sound turned down low.

Every so often the companionable quiet would be interrupted by Phil soliciting an opinion on an editing choice, me sharing some wacky anecdote from my reading, or, most frequently, a frustrated outburst from Dan.

Obviously it was nothing glamorous or outrageously fun, but I was struck with an intense feeling of contentment.

A few weeks ago, I would have been cooped up alone in my room or the library, with few friends and little to occupy me beyond coursework. Now I had this fabulous new friend and a truly amazing boyfriend, not to mention Jane and all of the other people I'd met through them.

I finally felt like I had built a life in England, and it was so much better than anything I'd dared hope for. Just as their videos had made life in the States a little more bearable, hanging out with Dan and Phil made even revising enjoyable.

Things had been a little bit tentative between Phil and I after the whole "I swear I'm not a secret stalker" debacle, but it hadn't taken too long to get back to where we'd been before that all went down. Except it was actually even better, because I didn't have that niggling guilt in the back of my head.

And we could actually talk about YouTube stuff, which, let's be honest, is a huge part of the boys' lives. I smiled into my books as I remembered the night that Phil and I had spent cuddled up in his bed on a laptop while Phil interrogated me about all my favorite AmazingPhil videos and teased me about being such a fangirl.

All in all, let's just say I was pretty much deliriously happy.

While I was busy surreptitiously staring at my boyfriend's sexy "editing concentration" face instead of the words on the page in front of me, there was a knock on the door. Just as Dan shouted, "Not it!" the unlocked door opened to reveal Jane.

"I heard that mister!" she called out, but her stern tone was belied by the grin on her face. "Hey guys, how are you?"

"Sorry, babe. If I'd known it was you coming over, I would have made the effort, I swear."

Dan finally hoisted himself off the floor to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Likely story," Jane teased. "_But_, I'm willing to let it slide because I am here to kidnap you for dinner, and it just wouldn't be as much fun alone.

"My friend had to give up his reservations at that new swanky sushi bar on High Street so I generously offered to take them off him," she explained. "But we have to be there by 7:30, so you'd better scuttle off and change into something more public-appropriate," Jane continued, eyeing Dan's mismatched t-shirt and track pants.

Dan tossed her a mock-affronted look, but then headed back to his room to change. Jane came over and flopped down onto the sofa next to me, sending a few notebooks sliding to the ground.

"So, what have you been up to dearest? I feel like it's been ages! Too busy with tall, pale, and handsome over there?" Jane flashed a cheesy, innocent smile at Phil, who just turned a bit pink and stared directly at the computer in front of him.

"Yeah, something like that. Though school's been pretty crazy too. I'm about 10 pages into a 30-page paper right now, so this is basically my life at the moment." I gestured to the sea of papers and books surrounding me. "Any juicy tidbits from your life you can distract me with?"

* * *

A few minutes of catching up later, Dan re-emerged, looking rather dapper, if I may say, in a black button-down and dark skinny jeans that _almost_ entirely covered his ass. Clearly, he was making an effort.

Judging by the look on Jane's face as she saw him come out of the hallway, she definitely agreed.

"Hmm, don't you clean up well." Jane winked at him playfully as she pulled herself up off the couch.

"Right back at you, babe," Dan said, slipping an arm around her waist.

"Alright then kids, we'll be off. Don't get into too much trouble here all alone." Jane raised her eyebrows in my and Phil's direction.

I had to laugh a bit at that. She was being relentless tonight. _Somebody's in a good mood._

"I'm sure we'll somehow manage without you," Phil joked. "Have fun guys!"

"Yeah, have a great time. I'll text you later, Jane, and we can do coffee or something this week!"

After the two of them were out the door, I slid the miniature library from my lap and padded over to stand behind Phil. Running my hands over his shoulders - _damn were they nice - _I bent down to ask, "Think you've had enough editing for a bit? I know I could do with a study break."

Phil tipped his head up to look up at me. "I think I could be persuaded," he said, arching back to capture my lips in a kiss. I was still just a little bit in awe that I was actually allowed to do this - just wander up to Amazing-freaking-Phil in my sock feet and start making out with him - but any self-reflection was driven from my mind as Phil stood up. He turned to face me, his lips quickly returning to my own and his hand coming to rest on either side of my jaw as he pushed me back towards the wall behind me.

A few heated moments later, when I pulled back a fraction to catch my breath, Phil admitted that he'd been silently wishing Dan out of the apartment for a few hours now. Don't get me wrong, the two of them are still pretty much inseparable, but sometimes a little privacy is essential.

I was a little caught off-guard by his eagerness, but it didn't take me long to catch up. _I guess it really is the quiet ones you've got to look out for. _

"You want to take this to the bedroom?" I asked, still breathing heavily.

"As much as I really want to throw you down on the breakfast bar right now, I think Dan would appreciate it if we did."

That last bit was mumbled a bit against the neck of my skin between kisses, as he continued running his hands along my sides.

I moaned in the back of my throat as he grazed a particularly sensitive bit of my neck and I felt a shiver run through me.

After enjoying the sensation for a moment, I pulled myself together enough to tug Phil by the hand back towards his room. Once through the door, we were back to kissing feverishly. Phil backed me up in the direction of his bed. As the back of my knees hit its edge, Phil gave my shoulders a little push and I flopped down on my back, giggling a little as I fell. Phil paused for a moment, stood over me with an expression of intense desire on his face that I was still beyond surprised I had the ability to inspire in this man.

I reached a hand out, intending to drag him down on top of me.

"C'mere, baby."

* * *

A little while and some, ahem, vigorous activity later, we were laid out on top of the now uncovered bed, silent for a moment as we let our breathing slow to normal and the flush fade from our cheeks.

After a minute, the breeze from the open window across my damp skin made me shiver. I rolled into Phil's side and snuggled up to his chest. He settled an arm around me and reached down with his free hand to tug the discarded duvet up to half cover us.

"That was amazing, but now I just want to lay here forever."

"I think I would be okay with that."

As once again that evening the rather foreign feeling of actual unmarred happiness washed over me, my stupid brain couldn't help but remind me of how fragile my relationship with Phil really was. Aside from the innumerable things that can go wrong in any relationship, there was Phil's rather public lifestyle and his fans, and my limited term student visa, even if that was thinking _way_ too far ahead. And although we'd gotten past my initial lie of omission, I couldn't help but worry that inequity in our relationship could still come back to haunt me.

Thankfully, a stray thought while I was pondering the inevitable if/when discussion over "coming out" to the fans pulled me off the anxious path of my thoughts.

"You know what I just thought of?" I giggled. "We have the best ship name ever." I paused for dramatic effect.

"You could even say it's _phate_. Get it?"

Phil groaned at my pun, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. But then he pulled me closer and drew me into a kiss.

Yes, I'd have to say that fate was definitely on my side, whatever the future may hold.

* * *

**A/N:** So that's the end! I apologize if that was rather anti-climatic for how exceedingly long in coming it was, but I'm just happy to have actually made it to the end. It was a little touch and go with this story at times, but I learned a lot writing this and had fun working on it. Thanks so much to everybody who's read this story, and even more to those who reviewed. It makes me very happy :)


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